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Today, I stepped out with boots on a hot & sunny day waiting for fall to bestow me with its presence. I have not met with fall in such a long time, but we have a lot of catching up to do ♥.
The insperation is in my heart.. I do not know how to put it into words.. my heart just presses a beat faster when I see a familiar face. Everytime I meet a person, I get this feeling & everytime we talk I am right there lingering on the next word & waiting for that day we will see each other.
Two AM dancing still amazes me. I fall asleep watching the glow of the moon flowing into my room, the star are not visiable, but I still stand next to my window with wonder & awe seeing the wonderful natural night lighting that cascades to my bed. The songs have been on endless repeat for the past two days.. The lack of sleep should be doing me harm, but everyday I wake up refreshed & ready for a new adventure to come at me. I have seen the many people lately around me are the most kind people I have seen in such a long time.. A little bit goes a long way with me. I just feel spoiled with kindness. Everyday as time passes by I can't help to smile, if only the world knew about this, then the world would fall in love with itself ♥.
Some things never change, & it's hard not to repeat the past..
September 10 2005, 02:33:49 UTC 6 years ago
& dancing at 2 am is the best. especially outside, under the trees and stars.
Some things never change, & it's hard not to repeat the past..
we never repeat our mistakes exactly as they come- we just don't recognize them in a different form.
September 10 2005, 03:22:20 UTC 6 years ago
i have not done that, but i think that will be on my to do list.. dance at 2am with a friend (or with friends). i can already picture the firefly sparkling as the long grass is waiting to be cut as i dance in little circle with my hands out & laughing along the way..
you are right about that, i just like thinking about how things were & there is still a similar resemblance to what i saw a long time ago =)
September 10 2005, 02:59:29 UTC 6 years ago
sorry i had to say that first of all. thats the first thing that came into my mind after reading your entry.
you're right we try our best in everything we do. when we do we feel incomplete as if we're missing something, if we dont we want to do better we strive to that unattainable goal. im truly happy for being blessed with the things around me and the people i call my friends.
beautiful photos. most i already saw since you previewed them already in the previous entry but i love how you look back thinking about things just reminising and that kind of thing. i adore doing that all the time just a few minutes ago i was glancing back at my formal photos and gosh it made me smile and get mad at the same time. smile because of the memories 'n mad because my ex was in the photos and i wanted to be friends with him still at the same time i didnt for the things he made me go through.
dancing is a way to express yourself ♡ dance when no one can see you. smile like you never thought you could, and laugh because you're acting like a child again. how beautiful dancing can be when you're surrounded by darkness and beauty at the same instance. i adore staring out into the darkness and smiling just knowing theres someone out there feeling the exact same emotion i am or was. "I just feel spoiled with kindness." We all feel like that way, especially when things dont go the way their supposed to for others especially. Vivian if the world could fall in love with itself, the world would be so beautiful.
Some things never change, & it's hard not to repeat the past..
Even when we realize what we're doing in the mist of it all, we feel we need to repeat these mistakes to reassure ourselves of what happened. We want to feel that sadness, that pain to realize how that one experience can change you completely. Making mistakes is beautiful.. because you're able to gain knowledge from each one. Small or big you realize something, something completely from the heart ♡
September 10 2005, 03:34:26 UTC 6 years ago
yeah that unfinished feeling, i try to fill in all that void with friends & loved ones because to me, that is all i need to be happy. the little things are better than those large gifts you get showered with. there's more value in a person's action then what they give you.
funny thing.. i was just thinking about prom.. i started looking at dresses.. i don't really want a formal one.. i kind of want something cute.. maybe i should go to some asian store & buy something from there.. i don't want to try to whole traditional dress thing, because everyone else around me will.. i want to break from the ordinary.. because all the weddings & all that fancy stuff.. i have enough of.. i want to buy something that looks fun =) hmmm now i need a date & a dress & i'm set.. actually i was thinking about it more.. i really noticed i wasn't such a traditional person when i wanted to take prom pictures downtown at the turle pond & feeling really weird in formals in the middle of city life.. & instead of a fancy place for dinner.. i was thinking of renting a room for karaoking.. i know very cheesy, but it's different. i originally did not want to go to prom because it just seemed too traditional, now that i make plans for it.. it just seems to be more exciting sounding loll
i like to dance when no one's watching & laugh at myself when no one's watching =) well, it looks like on the other side of your window, it's me who gazes out of the window, too ♥. i think the world would be really amazing & breath taking if that happened, but none the less, it's still an amazing world out there :)
yeah.. we do need mistakes, i think we need to feel the pain of disappointment & being on the bottom, because sucess derives from all the failures we came across, without that bottom feeling we will never having that feeling of climbing to the top.. i don't think failure should be frowned apond, it should be something to look forward to our next step to sucess =)
September 10 2005, 04:04:49 UTC 6 years ago
you as well have beautiful things about you. its beyond appearance heehee, its your personality 'n the way you look at life.
goosh prom to mee is such a hassle at times =\ i mean its fun 'n all sometimes but before ive always wondered if it was worth all the money/hassle/time.. and to be honest im still uncertain. i mean i went to prom, it was a 'big thing' for me but i dont think it was too great. haha the food wasnt amazing, the music was horrific and the decorations were dull =\ but than thats my night. there were some magical moments though, when my chicken on the plate almost flew off when i was trying to cut it 'n dancing with my crush ♡ so it isnt all bad, and you dont really need to go with a date but it would be nice i think :) i went solo but ended up not heehee. so iuno everyone's version/experience of prom is different i wish mines could have been better but its okay i dont mind it turning out the way it was. i had my fun times still.. ^_____^v and oh you would look beautiful in a dress from those asian stores, because you just would. well.. what kind of colours were you looking into? im just curious but i think light orange a peach kind of colour would look very pretty on you or a baby blue or black thats my opinion at least. i could be completely wrong ♡ tell me if you do decide to go or not, either way its good to spend that night/day with your friends. thats what i think at least..
secretly we all dance when no one's watching.
its a little thing we all do, its like i sing when no one's around and i laugh at myself for doing it too. aww so really we're like staring out in the darkness, smiling out at friends ♡ thats pretty neat heehee. 'n yes you're right the world is amazing either way.. its more amazing because there are pretty awesome people like you.
you're right. the way you were writing this is like a metaphor of a mountain or stairs. you have painted a wonderful image in my mind, you truly have. and you are correct, we all need to feel disappointment because than we'll never cherish happiness/accomplishment we'll take advantage of it like many.. til they have truly felt the bottom of life ♡
September 10 2005, 18:25:26 UTC 6 years ago
to me at first, it seemed like a hassle.. but just planning to plans makes me excited & wanting to actually make it happen.. nothing is in the works.. i'm still undecided but i do love those colours peach & baby blue.. either that .. i can go for green, too.. i think i'm going to acessorize with hairclips instead of getting a "prom-like" dress.. just to be different :) i can't help like being different. yeah.. i'm more looking at the whole day instead of the actual prom.. i have no idea what is in store.. but i think everything before & after it will be worth it =)
i think we're at our best when we do things without anyone watching.. the pressure is off, & we tend to be able to think on our own without anyone's opinion to influence your decision.. i love having that aloneness feeling at times, i mean it's wonderful to have friends always by yourside, but i need some time for myself, time to figureout how i am feeling as an individual & just reserved time to forget the world for a day..
i feel exactly the same way about sucess & failures. i think happy people are people who have been through it all, & they finally figured it out.. cherish the world because there are far worse things to think about then sadness.. i believe people are what they are for reason & they have certain motives that are truely understandable.
September 11 2005, 00:34:41 UTC 6 years ago
oh have you seen photos of me in my prom dress. it looks okay i think but i wish i had worn a different dress.. or oh well =\ yes i think green is really pretty 'n so is baby blue but a colour like peach would look really pretty on you. so anyway here are two photos from my prom in 2004.. i look awful :P
absolutely. or when you're with people you're 100% comfy with than you can act silly and stupid 'n they wont mind at all :D those are the truest friends you could ever have i think. yes without pressure things are so much easier.. but at the same time with pressure sometimes you can do that much better =\
i have nothing more to add with your last paragraph because i completely agree with you ♥
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September 10 2005, 03:38:42 UTC 6 years ago
September 10 2005, 04:18:07 UTC 6 years ago
loll but i need to wake up.. pikachu wakes me up everyday at 7:40AM with the buzzing sounds hhahahaa..
September 10 2005, 06:15:06 UTC 6 years ago
Life so confusing at times, that void feeling can be so painful sometimes, makes you regret your decisions at times... it has happened to me before but hey stuff happens!
You are by far the nicest and luckiest person i have met by far! There arent many people that have so much happiness and kindness in their hearts and you are right... The world would fall in love with itself all over again... Sometimes i wish it would happen!
anyways i really dont have a clue about what im blabbering around...
keep on smiling :D!
September 10 2005, 18:30:42 UTC 6 years ago
yeah, things are inevitable.. but hey it's still wonderous at times =)
i don't know i'm the nicest, but i know i am the luckiest person in the world.. there are still people who are by far more nice & worldly than me.. i am nothing compared to them ♥. i have no idea how i have these feelings inside of my heart, but i think i'm lucky to have these unexplainable feelings..
i understand what you're saying..
:)
September 10 2005, 08:46:34 UTC 6 years ago
September 10 2005, 18:31:03 UTC 6 years ago
September 10 2005, 15:01:27 UTC 6 years ago
September 10 2005, 18:33:21 UTC 6 years ago
haha.. i'm handicapped i can't put on my shoes right.. i just love photos that are differnt where there is a little silly actions.. i think it best captures how i am feeling at the moment.
September 10 2005, 15:29:37 UTC 6 years ago
September 10 2005, 18:34:52 UTC 6 years ago
i think most of the pictures are just plain cheesy.. but that's how i roll hahahhaa...
September 10 2005, 16:10:36 UTC 6 years ago
I can't wait till winter comes so
I can huddle in warm fluffy sweaters.
I really like how you view/approach the world.
It's very admirable. :)
September 10 2005, 18:38:51 UTC 6 years ago
thank you ♥, but i love how you can just say things how they are. it's something refreshing from listening to myself on & on about the world. i love how people can take a small segment of their life & recapture the moment in words :)
September 12 2005, 23:17:52 UTC 6 years ago
September 13 2005, 01:06:53 UTC 6 years ago
i think it's wonderful that we can relate, i love it how i can find someone to have the exact feeling in an entry.. i love doing entries which provokes you.
so how is school for you? is it treating you good? i love meeting people who are happy about the little things because then they can laugh & be cheesy with me ♥.
it's just so amazing how a person can impact you so much, it's wonderful how someone can make your day, just like that with an inside joke, or just with a smile as you walk by just exchanging facial expression for just a few seconds :)
October 3 2005, 02:16:54 UTC 6 years ago
the boots are darling!
October 5 2005, 04:20:35 UTC 6 years ago
awww thanks, if i could, i would wear it a whole lot, i wore it a whole lot last year over the winter & fall term =)
October 5 2005, 16:48:36 UTC 6 years ago
October 5 2005, 22:15:55 UTC 6 years ago
feb.. is usually when the cold actually hits me for a day then the next day it's super hot.. i tell you, if you get amnesia, you would let alone know what season you were in because sometimes we get hail & on a hot summer day..